Thoughts On Overcoming Pain
The past few weeks have been extremely challenging for me and a few loved ones. Which is what prompted me to write How To Help Someone Through a Tough Time.
Well as a result of the fabulous chaos, I took a break from writing my weekly blog and the newsletter. I know I don’t have a big following as yet but my Substack is a place for me to archive my thoughts and experiences as well as sharing them with like-minded strangers and friends via the internet. And I decided to pause writing for a bit.
Over the past 10 years I have been doing a lot of self-growth work on myself. I came to know the term dark night of the soul while watching some solid lectures by one of my favourite metaphysics and Theosophy teachers, Pablo Sender. You should totally check him out on YouTube.
There is so much to say about getting through tough times and staying calm in the midst of storms, chaos, excruciating pain, challenges, dark nights of the soul or whatever you want to call it. I’m going to share some of my thoughts with you, without trying to stick to a particular flow or format.
I have gotten through some of my worst experiences with the help of loved ones and some without. I think both are necessary. It’s nice to know that people care about us genuinely, without an agenda. That help is always out there. All we need to do is ask. It is also very humbling too. A good way to keep the ego in check.
And on the other hand it is empowering to learn that we are autonomous creatures. We have an unimaginable capacity to withstand any type of excruciating pain. But not only that, we also have boundless capacity to overcome our challenges. To learn from them, then leave them behind and get on with our lives.
One thing I found myself saying to a BFF was, how having experienced what we experienced, with all the humiliation, pain and injustice that we are still willing to pursue the life of our dreams without debilitating bitterness and regret?
My friend and I both know people who refuse to forgive and forget those who’ve hurt them. These individuals spend quite a lot of time regurgitating the past, reminding everyone in their life of the pain and the injustice. If anyone ever suggests something along the lines of forgiveness they harshly criticise the alternative and the audacity of the person to do so, saying “wait until it happens to you!”
Even though neither of us have been vindictive, over the years we’ve spent quite a bit of time wallowing in our grief and injustice. This place of grief and injustice is bad enough. Stagnating your life, not just stopping you from pursuing your goals but also has a very rusting effect on your mental health too.
But having been through quite a few storms we know better. It’s still hard when you go through the wringer. But as you’re going through it you know that a solution is possible. That there is life after pain. It’s all going to make sense once we get through the storm. That there really is purpose in everything we experience.
This is how we learn, become skilled and evolve. We need a certain amount of life experiences and active participation in self-growth work to come to this point. You know, to know that there is going to be light at the end of the tunnel even when we can’t see even a firefly in the vicinity. Even to be able to confidently tell your loved ones and clients alike that it’s going to be ok. It can be more than ok if they can at least hold faith the size of a mustard seed.
I was telling my friend that the best part of having been through many storms is not only coming into terms with our power. But being able to tell someone with so much confidence that they can make it through and their pain is temporary; being able to give them hope about life. That if they can keep holding on, it will be over and they can make it to the other side. That they have a choice to transmute their pain to never ending grief or life changing glory.
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